eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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