y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
