I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
