she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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