you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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