...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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