Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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