yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
