She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
