Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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