He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
