His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize