I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
