doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize