not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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