Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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