also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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