she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
