Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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