You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
