Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
