piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's like heaven, but drunker
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize