Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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