What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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