i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
