Pappa wants mamma naked
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
