They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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