there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
