this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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