Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
