I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
