Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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