Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i drank out of a bidet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
