okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
