I must be too annoying 4 u.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
