Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
