From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
