You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
