I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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