After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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