i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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