I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
