Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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