Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
