I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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