My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
