apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
