Your face is a jimmy john
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
