i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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