just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
