I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
