I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
