Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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