I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
