are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
