your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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