what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
