Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
