At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
