yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
