Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
