Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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