So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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