I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
