I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
