try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
